自己

今天，其实没打算要写部落格，却想写下此刻脑海里的东西。今天，开始想起了，以前。以前，所谓的以前，我有些事不怎么能记得。大概记得2011年和2012年过得很难过。2011年，他离开了。看着旧照片，幼儿园开始一起成长的记忆，忘不了的。那个陪着我回家，聆听我内心的那一个我的世界，照顾我，哄我的他，就在这瞬间，在医院，什么都来不及说的，就这样离开了。2011年的12月，日子很灰，大家见面时，总是鼓励着对方，要坚强地活下去，你说的，我们很steady,我们要steady. 就是大伙的每天鼓励，见面，安慰，我们接受了，你离开了，却心还是疼的。2012年，依稀记得日子过的很灰，每天想的大概都是他，心痛了，哭了，累了，伤心的。他，我说他是我的初恋，都是我说的。一直以来的一相情愿，后来才明白。原来我们都没有开始过，也谈不上分手这件事。只能说，太爱了，却不会去爱，对不起，我没有谈恋爱的经验，我把场面搞得很难堪，朋友做不成了，讨厌，是你能做的。没想过2012年的很多话，我没想到后果造成的误会，是会造成你的伤害。以前我会在网络的世界里，说很多的话中伤了你，对不起，现在我体会到了，别人在骂我的时候，是怎样的一个体会。我不骂人了，我也不说伤害别人的话了。再也不了，有时候说的话，好比利刃，万般割在心头上。我嘲笑你的感情失败，却在同时感受了当初自己的失败，那种滋味，才明白，伤害了别人，会伤到自己的，这就是karma。沉默，是最好的。2013年，我尝试想挽回这一个朋友，想珍惜相遇这缘分，想珍惜这位朋友，可笑的，我在我们当不成朋友的那一刻到现在这一刻，我删除了所有的一切，照片，电话号码，讯息，我们的所有关系的点点滴滴，有关你的一切一切，部落格，微博，照片，我清除了，清楚了。我不会再提起你了，当个陌生人是最好的。谢谢你会记得这么一个我的生日。我不打扰了你的生活，生命中，总会有许多过客，我想我是其中的那一位。今天，看清了，再怎么爱的爱，是多么的卑微，卑贱的。我对你的爱，被践踏了，被遗忘了，是谁呢，不，是我自己。2013年的今天，对自己说 ＂你看清了你自己，多爱爱自己，好吗？两年的时间，你没了。＂往后的日子里，别再提起，说起，想起。这是最后一次，我坦诚我忠于现在的感受。这也是我最后一次，提起你了，这个文章，就是结局了。

"You hold in your hands a great secret..."

欧格式 VII

Today is just so awesome

Too bad I really tak larat to share all here

Linkin park concert! Why ended so fast? Come again next year pleas :D

No matter how, really love them, like their songs

Enjoy this concert!!!

By the way

Today happened things again

Nothing can say

It must be so called " admirer"

D: I'm not willing to comment him anything

Somehow I just dislike the way you treat me

Can you just treat me normal as colleague and don't too over?

This gonna pissed me off

I'm seriously, not kidding.

Damn, excited yet tired

Gonna sleep with my linkin park dream :)

Recently too much blog I guess

Gonna MIA for awhile..

Damn last time ppl use this word to describe me

Even dee, Steron, Steve all say I always MIA

Hmm.. Cincai la

I just need a rest

Really! 

Ciao~

欧格式 VI

I still working

That's the reason I hate 3rd week every month

Accrual week

Work until 12am can't escape 

Yet still can't finish the work now

Because I'm too tired and work load is too much

Preferable tomorrow wake early and settle it

I must finish my report for Monday

Or else my linkin park concert gg

Whole day didn't open fb insta or even pick up call! 

Damn it

Now only manage to reply all message in whatsapp or urgent things

Aiks

If you wanna compare and complain saying u work hard and lots of work

Think about us

My colleague work until 5am and slept only 2 hours then come to work

We not only busy on peak month but is every month!

No matter how must clear everything tomorrow

So that next week my holiday only can fully enjoy til the max!

My eyes so freaking tired after whole day look at pc

Sumore cried coz too tension

Since when is the last time I cried?

Seems like I got no choice to release my tension by cry

Alright now

My tiny brain

Need some rest

1.02am already!

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppppppp~ I miss my bed! Ohhhhhh~

欧格式 V

Today will be long post to share

Today another good day and scary day

Yet something dilemma me as well

Chat with my buddy till late night 1am yesterday 

And jus now had a pillow talk with chai ling

Scary day is when I driving jus now

A lorry carrying tons of stones and sands pass by my car

Actually I try to avoid those stones Kena my car mirror

Suddenly a sound bomb n the lorry tyre burst

Luckily the lorry din lost control

Or else I think it wil langgar me

I dunno should I say lucky or what 

Just need to be careful when drive

Talk bout good day!

We going Japan next year! Hurray!

Happiness always happens with my friends

Yet I had a serious topic chat with chai ling too

Because shin talked me something

That changed my mind

"Where is my next destination"

I changed my field from science to finance

I gave up the senior position, lead position 

Now become only level 4 as finance executive

I can't or even able to climb up to the level where I've been thru before

Due to my irrelevant background

Shin asked me

"Think about it, back to the place where you should be, you'll get what you deserved and what you need"

Chai ling ask me to think about it properly

Because I got no more time to waste n try new thing 

She ask me work in sg

I need a think

Clear of my mind

Where shall I go

Where shall I leave

Nobody knows the way it gonna be

Its my choice

It's my life

A same mistake u can't make it twice, if it happened, it's your choice

I guess I will really need a think when national day holiday that week

After enjoy my holiday at hatyai

Throw away everything 

Time to think about it

For right now

I need to focus on accrual report due next week

And linkin park concert next week!

Yay, they are my man! 

The concerts that I willing to spend money for only Eason Chan, linkin park n Mayday

Other than that even though I like too

But still not that level yet for me to go and watch it live

Alright peng

For now

Clear off your tiny peanut brain and think about it later after your trip

Then prepare for your future

Now not only I have to think of career future but my real future

Weevi said something weird to me that I can't even believe 

And one of my colleague as well

I dunno is it the way I treat people gave them wrong signal so now that things happened 

they keep asked me try for it since I'm single now

For honestly, and sorry Weevi, I'm phobia of alor setar people

The only one I loved the most, hurt the most

You're a good guy, but I'm a bad girl, I don't deserve you and I can't give things you want

And to my colleague, W

I know you treat me really really good

But, no feel is really cant force and

I quite enjoy my current single life

So.. I try to avoid this topic but someday I'll face it though

Haiz, don't wanna think it right now peng..

25 years old single not a big deal, think bout other things better

You stupid peng...

You can do it

You can do it better!

I don't even know I'm talking about

(´･_･`)

Fine, sleep better

Perhaps a sweet dream (=￣ ρ￣=) ..zzZZ

欧格式 IV

Today is a perfecto day :3

Lots of wonderful things happened on me

Too much and amazing

I don't even know how to share my happiness here 

It's too beautiful in my life 

The feeling of set myself free

It's so relieved

It's wonderful 

I love myself

Yes, I do

Someday,

I'll tell you the answer for my life

"Yes, I do"

This I promise you.

P/s: studying & preparing Korean language for my Korea trip next year! 

Fighting :3

欧格式 III

I just back from dinner

Today is an amazing day

Awesome

Supposing I met dee at 1U

Ended up went to her newly renovated house

And things Unbelivable happens

we go from 1U to bukit bintang pinchio Spanish food restaurant

Because ah Yun dated the artist 李心洁

Omg

I can't believe that I sit down same table sit right beside her for dinner

She is really frenly and nice

Most important she stil that pretty without make up 

She is polite and she treat us for the dinner

I'm so regret I din take pic wit her

Because she want a relax dinner and if I did so then I feel very kampong girl

Nobody gonna trust it without picture as prove

However, I know, dee know, ah Yun know because they are fren with Xin Jie

And I feel glad to had such awesome and wonderful dinner tonight

I love my day 

With lerjane lersis lerbell cuties

Thanks lord :)

I love my life and friends and family 

I love you <3

Trust me, I no lies

I did really had dinner with Xin Jie jus now

We chat and we had fun

Nice memories :* 

欧格式 II

今朝醒得早

还在宿醉的累

依稀记得 大约凌晨 3 点才回家

我的麻吉们都很绅士 照顾我

第一次居然喝啤酒喝到吐

不晓得我被灌了几杯

总之是吐了

酒醒了 我才知道

不是只有我吐了

太搏命了吧

对上一次喝酒 应该是四月飞去烂蕉仪喝的那次

原来有好几个月没喝酒了

依稀记得因为从一月喝到四月

看着他们喝到哭，喝到吐，喝到醉

所以，从那天起，我们大伙真的少喝了

回想起

早上还开心的和Jason去puchong donutes cafe 喝下午茶

谢谢你的招待

请了我很多的甜点 和 茶

我 很少会束发

今天就这样的装扮出门去

感觉不错 ♪───Ｏ（≧∇≦）Ｏ────♪

本来喝完下午茶，要去1U 和大伙见面

欣然想起 license 打从五月就过期了

我去完槟城回来才想起

好彩没 road block 

被大伙说我 大头虾 忘东忘西

都说了 我的脑袋只有花生粒那么小

记不了那么多东西嘛

要不是因为查看钱包里有一堆有的没的帐单

还真不会发现

哈哈 不过没关系，昨晚发现不是只有我一人license过期

Alvin 和 Choy 也是 :D

靠，这个月花多了

钱没了 T T

发夹也遗漏在喝酒的地方 :/

在等待Alvin 载我去giza喝酒时 拍的

不束发 因为要喝酒 不能变乖乖女

几杯下肚后

醉， 吐，睡，醒

睡醒 开始 pei chek 

没睡好 一副憔悴的模样

而且 不能再睡了

为了祢补熬夜受伤的身体

下足材料熬煮的人参药材鸡汤

炖了3 小时

不能不夸奖自己

太会煮饭了 :D

今天 闲在家休息打扫房间 整理整理

部落格一下 听歌两下 做运动三下 😄

再用米粒般的脑袋瓜想想 (°_°)

还有什么忘记做 还有欠谁钱

应该没了吧 

礼拜六早上

休息休息

为了晚上的节目而冲刺ヾ(＠⌒ー⌒＠)ノ

欧格式 I

Now, I unpack my luggage 

My 4 days plan in Penang is ended and holiday still keep going until 12aug

It's tired coz we go by 2 cars, I have to drive coz another car is Penang Lang 

Well,ill back to kl earlier so .. It's been awhile I din drive for such long journey 

Usually either I take flight or other ppl fetch me

So, wake early at 5am, drive from nilai to cyber pick up n then puchong n then depart all the way to Penang

Because wan Ying n Biwen dunno how to drive

So..I drive for this trip..

Feeling heartache coz nearly accident on highway n I can feel my car very hurt on gear box n brake

I shouldn't did so.. So gan Jeong then ...

It's my mistake.. Will check again when service later..sorry my little blue 

When arrive Penang pun quite sleepy already

Extremely tired when I up til alor setar, just a short stop

Planning is pray soon sen but seems like everyone is busy and I also can't go to temple

So just a short visit to dee's dad shop and find ah Jian

Haha, Biwen admire ah Jian got 6 packs! Haha

Sorry ah Jian, u keep ask me when to treat u, ern, I'll find a time to come again la

But.. Haha, got chance one, hutang u first har..

4 days in Penang totally no plan, free & easy,

No idea what to do when your Penang Lang eh colleague also dunno where to go

Penang, I'm not first time come, but always other ppl plan for me n I just follow only

But this time just feel like back to home 

Eng eng boh dai ji zuo

So, just walk around and found sth usually din see one

Goh kaki, a place for high tea

I like the fishy..colorful

Hot weather but ngamngam aunt visit, no cold drinks allowed =(

But fruit juice without ice also nice =)

Then go to see art, as usual Lo. Hot weather.

Hehe, it's a must to take pic with wall painting?

Love this pic, so artistic. :)

Overall, thanks my colleagues that provide us accommodation

And be driver when In island even though I pun have to drive your vios

And overall is relaxing trip as supposing planning is go up Thailand

Some of us din bring passport

Sigh.. Thai plan failed :(

And Penang Lang dunno where to go..

Thanks Vinn and edwin both AS lang recommend some nice place for lunch & tea

And I met Vinn @ straits quay and had a tea time together

He is a very nice guy :)

Too bad habit art cafe din open when we in As that time 

Nvm then..

Relaxing trip as we speak hokkien

Eat nice foods, walk around, pillow talk

Pillow talk..lol really talk a lot

No idea why I cried..haha

"Come back to me" this song..keep repeating

Drunk maybe..ya, I do really love him

Not like, but love. This is the reason why I haven't let him go away from my heart afters years 

He is the only reason

And he will never know

Because he never love me, am I right?

I'm imperfect, I couldn't give things that he wants..

But ended is ended

I can't stop him from getting his life better

I got no right to stop anyone, beg anyone

Wish is the best way

Penang, really is a nice place

Everyone is friendly

Northam, this place remind me, day of soon sen discharge from hospital n v had dinner together here

With dee, dee family, soon sen family

All smile happily..

But.. 

I feel so regret for couldn't attend the funeral

And now even in AS also can't go n pray you

I promise I'll get a time n chance to make it

if company announcement earlier bit

Then I shouldn't be here 

Off from 2aug til 12aug le.. I shall buy airticket n get away from here

But since last mins inform, last mins planning

Can't hiam :) sumore imagine days before holiday how we rush, how we push, how we all stay until 12am

So now relax, enjoy holiday n don't think bout it

As I said " live for work, work for life"

We, will get a better life :)

Today got another good news is

I got my body check report! Hehe, clear!

Means I'm a healthy person. No sickness! = )

I love myself, I love mylife and enjoy it.

Hmm.. What am I gonna do for the rest of holiday?

Lets see how :)

Alright, gonna sleep

Been drive back for long journey

Blog also messy

Fine, reblog with a better topic tomorrow :)

Night ~